butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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