420 ftw
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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