Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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