Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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