the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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