i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Come on in and take your pants off
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