There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I have aggressive nipples.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
