i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
