Why are handjobs necessary in class?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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