do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
The Olympian is in my bed
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
