Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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