Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
