this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
