There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
