Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
