i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
