I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
