I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Quick, to the slutcave!
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
