were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
