Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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