It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
