I don't remember. Are we still dating?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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