dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
