Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Its about making memories worth repressing
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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