Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize