How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Randomize