Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
