if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
