Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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