No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
