Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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