I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Randomize
