if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
