I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize