Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Semen is not good for contacts.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Randomize
