I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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