I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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