if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
