fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
