i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
