I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
where are my eyebrows?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize