I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Enjoy the penises
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
