I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Farmville is her only friend.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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