She's JV to your varsity
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
