There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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