Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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