he wants to bone in the snuggie
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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