I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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