last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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