ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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