Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
