I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
