I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
