I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
