Cold hands, warm shart.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
