Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
