just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
