I'd wear matching sweaters with you
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
