CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize