he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
