I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
