so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize