Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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